What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
08.06.2025 13:55
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
So whats the point in blame.
Who then, do I blame.?
Can a twin flame runner be happy in a karmic relationship?
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I write beautiful poetry .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?
I never cut or harmed myself..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
macOS Tahoe Name Leaked Ahead of Apple's WWDC Event Next Week - MacRumors
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
As i do to all so called friends.?
Im still living with it.
Week in Review: Perplexity Labs wants to do your work - TechCrunch
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
WWDC 2025: New Features We Could See in watchOS 26 - MacRumors
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Nasa delays next flight of Boeing’s alternative to SpaceX Dragon - The Edge Malaysia
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I said to her
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Angelina Jolie’s Daughter Shiloh Debuts New Name for Choreography Work - Just Jared
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
What have you learned from your parents' mistakes?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Why are people saying that Trump is fat when he is an athletic 6 foot 3 and 215 pounds?
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
One cannot live in the past .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But, we were locked up after school.
Did you swallow cum the first time you sucked a penis?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She found it foreign!.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Comes on , in middle age.
I was 9 years of age.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
My family never makes their pension either.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And i lived it daily.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He knew the spot.
When she asked me how she looked .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
We were not on the streets..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My life is so biszare .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Ive learnt so much.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I have no regrets .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
She loved him until the end.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
This is soul school!.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Would this be the day?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
(And it was in our own minds.)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was very sick at this time too.
She was in good health!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Especially a lifetime of it.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
They are buried together, in the same grave..
It was going to be , some day.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She married twice! .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We all went to grammer schools
I could never make a relationship work though!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I don,t even have a pension.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Was to survive, this bastard.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I think the readers, may guess!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I was seconnd youngest,
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
So, i spoilt her more .
He resisted the act ,that day.
What did i know ?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I waited trembling.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I will be 64.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But it wasn’t much.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She wouldn,t have been !
I was scared of men, in general
Put me off passion for life!!
All the time i was locked up.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But ive been too sick for many years..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.